Church hunting has, in fact, gotten old real quick. This past week I found myself attending church solo, so I went back to the Nazarene church. Yes that's right folks, I'm a total wuss when it comes to attending new churches by myself. In short, I don't do it.
Snarky critiques aside, I thought more about why we haven't settled on this one. It's not a bad place. Sure the opening & closing theme songs are a little...different than we're used to, but the teaching is solidly Biblical, if a little bland. Hard to put a finger on what we're looking for but haven't found yet. Especially because we've still only been to 2 places.
So anyway, I slipped in & out quickly & quietly, so as not to draw attention to myself. I'm really enjoying being a "bad" visitor...evading greeters & connect flaps, arriving just before church starts & making a beeline for the door afterward, saving my conversational skills for the restroom (literally; for once I'm not talking about bathroom humor). Besides, no one here seems to have the free food hospitality hour afterward, like we're used to. That's more of an observation than an excuse, by the way.
I did see the assistant from my PT's office from a distance. Then at my appointment yesterday I freaked her out by saying "Hey I saw you at church Sunday." That was fun.
Following Pastor T's advice, I've been reading the Field Guide for inspiration and search tips. This is one of my favorite passages--
"While the tithes and offerings are received (or taken), many churches allow a soloist to perform a song. Welcome to the Desperate Housewives portion of the service when, after practicing for weeks in her car, a woman with a painful lack of talent also demonstrates her inability to evaluate her own skill sets. When she's finished dissecting your inner cortex with her tongue and everyone applauds, she'll point to heaven, blaming God for her voice."
2 comments:
Am visiting from Chewymom, after enjoying your comments on infinitives and accents.
You know your link still goes to your old blog?
I will come back -- I have enjoyed and related to much that you've written, at least the bits I've seen so far.
I still remember as a kid the lady that hardly showed up for church during the year yet managed to sing "Oh Holy Night" every year during the Christmas pageant thingy. She was...loud. Why, oh, why they let her do it I'll never know. It makes the Cartman version that much more meaningful to me.
When I come to visit, let's ditch church and hang out at the beach drinking beer and cussing. :) Well, drinking Pepsi and saying "friggin'" a lot at least.
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