Oct 8, 2013

Morningtime Concerns...

I live in a house of bossypantses.

His Highness went to bed with a very, very loose tooth. He spent the day wiggling it in our faces, showing us just how hangy-loose it was, and we spent the day going "Come on, just let me pull it," but he wouldn't let us. After he was asleep, the Cat Daddy even gave it a go, but it was just stuck enough that he couldn't get it out before His Highness would pull away and sleep-mumble "No, don't pull it..."

Well, guess what. His Highness woke up with a gappy grin and no tooth to be found anywhere.  We looked and looked and looked, but so far haven't found anything except his missing shin guard. He not only lost his tooth, he LOST his tooth.  

The Cat Daddy and I figured maybe he swallowed it. Having heard the story about how he once swallowed a penny, he said, "You'll have to check my poop, Mom."

Now I'm generally willing to help with a lot of things, but poo is where I draw the line.

I replied, "I will not. You can check your own poop, my friend, if you want your tooth so badly."

I did reconsider slightly. I said, "Look, we'll keep an eye out. If we see it on the outside of your poo, I'll help you recover it, meaning you will do the digging and I will give instructions. But I will do no actual digging or searching. If you want to do that you're on your own."

**Sidenote--I gagged a little bit, writing that last paragraph, and the thought of poo with teeth has set my brain down paths no one wants to consider, except maybe the South Park folks. End Sidenote** 

For his part, His Highness didn't seem terribly troubled. He's heard enough stories to know that if one loses one's tooth, one can write the Tooth Fairy a note and she will generally show grace and leave cash anyway. I told him to ask around at school to see if his friends and/or teachers had any other suggestions. 

It would be poetic justice if, along the way to our house, the Tooth Fairy somehow fell asleep and swallowed the dollar by mistake.

She'd better not though, because there is no way I'm digging through Tooth Fairy poo...


Sylvia said...

See this is where slipping the dollar under the pillow while "looking for the tooth" would have been perfect! It fell out in the night, she took it, ta da! It's not too late. You can "go look" while he's at school and show him what you discovered.

Nathan's mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nathan's mom said...

Hahaha! yucky poo! Hahaha ewwww! Hahaha
This post has me so conflicted between cracking up and being grossed out... but it's so funny the hilarity of it all wins hands down!!
PS. I deleted my first post because I wanted to say~ I vote that you trust Sylvia's brilliant suggestion!

Team Stinson said...

Oh, dear. You may want to be careful having him ask friends about teeth and the tooth fairy. It seems that inflation has struck and a Susan B Anthony is no longer accepted. I have read of the fairy leaving upwards of $5 US for a tooth. Crazy!

Martha said...

Wouldn't tooth fairy poop just be a pile of glitter? I'd totally dig through that! Then again, I've dug through and identified a fair amount of scat in the past, quite enthusiastically though.