I’m touchy lately. And fragile. And I'm mad that I’m touchy and fragile. I possibly have an ear infection, and I’m mad that a stupid (possible) ear infection is enough to throw off my mojo. I was watching Glee on the DVR today (SPOILER ALERT), and Rachel Berry was in a snit because she was pretty sure she didn’t get a part in a Broadway play, and Kurt came in and told her she needed to get her mojo back, so they sang a Beatles song, resulting in the timely return of her mojo, along with an accompanying explanation along the lines of “I’m awesome, and if they don’t see that then bummer for them, but secretly of course I’m gonna be wistful and reserve a teensy glimmer of hope in the darkest corner of my soul.” (then of course at the last possible moment she found out she did in fact get the part in the big Broadway play, so double mojo for her). Also, Santana was in a TV commercial for yeast infection medication, and Kurt got a job working at the same diner as the two girls, and they all made a pinkie-swear promise about staying in New York for two years to follow their dreams and toasted with champagne, and I was all “YOU’RE ALL 19, WHAT THE HECK IS THIS SNOOTY CHAMPAGNE BUSINESS??” But then again all these 19 year olds somehow afford a huge, industrial-looking loft in Brooklyn while two of them attend a fictional Julliard-esque college, so hey, if they want to (be underage and) pop some champagne to celebrate their dreams coming true, then who am I to argue??
Besides all that, my children and possessions are trying to eat me alive. The following is a list of resolutions I pass in my own head in a single morning of child-rearing. Some are more reasonable than others. Most are completely nuts.
--I need to keep a closer eye on all the children all the time.
--I need to quit Facebook altogether.
--I need to check Facebook RIGHT NOW.
--I'm going to get serious about being on time for preschool.
--No more snacks that produce crumbs of any sort.
--No more food or drinks outside the kitchen, EVER.
--The children need to drink plain water more.
--The children need to reuse one cup each throughout the day.
--I need to go through and organize the toys. Again.
--We need to cut WAY back on the toys.
--The children need to keep the toys within a three-foot radius of the toy bins at all times, and they need to put one toy away before moving on to the next toy.
--The children need to learn to amuse themselves without toys. Or screens. Or anything.
--The children need to stay out of the junk drawer and/or closets.
--I need to get rid of ALL the things.
--I need to teach these ruffians how to treat me.
--I need to find a family that will listen when I speak, and make them adopt me.
--Everyone needs to poop before we leave each morning.
--I'm gonna get up at 5:30 tomorrow.
--I'm gonna go to bed EARLY tonight.
--I'm gonna spend time writing/reading/etc tonight.
--Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna be awesome and productive.
--I need a jog.
That last one I can do...