Nov 13, 2017

One Cup Sugar and One Cup Ambivalence...

You guys.  We have to have a talk. A quick one, because kids and school and all that other stuff, but I need to put something out there. Sugar.

Sugar is what I have to put out there. I've mentioned in a couple of posts about my ongoing nutritional odyssey, and how I've realized that sugar does not have my best interests at heart, and all that. Well, I've been sort of motoring along until the last couple weeks, when I started a short-term regimen that, among other things, includes zero sugar. None.

I started it the day after Halloween, which was painful but I think it was the best I could do given the time of year. I didn't want to start it before Halloween because I was uncertain of my ability to stay away from any candy completely. I think that part was a smart move. I spent the evening eating ALL the candy, and savoring all the tastes, and observing that American candy really isn't that good, but those shiny wrappers and the combined smells really do a number on my brain, convincing me that I must. eat. it. ALL.

The rest of the week was rough with a capital R. I mean, changing habits is hard to begin with, but changing habits with a sugar hangover is double-tough. Triple tough when you are the only one in your family changing habits, and there are still two bowls of devil-sugar taunting you because your children took their pillowcases out for trick-or-treating, and you get zero sugar.

As the week went on though, I felt my brain clearing. I mean, still full of the myriad thoughts I have dancing around up there, but somehow a little more orderly and less shouty and depressive. And I thought "well, crud," because this means that while feeling better is great, it is yet another data point in a pattern showing me that I really, REALLY need to consider sugar's role in my life, and that likely means drawing some sharp lines about where it is and is not allowed.

I'm telling you all of this because I think maybe this is close to the epitome of ambivalence. It is a great and tragic irony that something so sweet and pleasant as sugar should cause so much trouble for many of us. I've always prided myself on not having addiction issues, but really the truth is that my addiction issues are socially acceptable, and even encouraged, but still very, very present.

Maybe it's not sugar for you, but maybe I'm not alone in this. I wonder if we all have something in our lives that isn't bad, per se, but is causing us more trouble and grief than we realize. And I know that last sentence sounds kind of heavy for such a light topic as delightfully sweet confections, but that's kind of how I feel about the whole thing. It's kind of hilarious, and also bigger than that.

These are the things I'm thinking about lately. And so I bid you a wonderful oncoming week, and a happy and good day.


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