OK, more like "these were actual conversations I had"...
To a friend: "Since mom-in-law will be in town, I'll ask her to watch His Highness so I can take the kids to the vet. Oh, wait, I guess I have to start calling them 'the pets' since I call my kid 'the kid.'"
To the Cat Daddy: "I'm going to take the kids to the vet this week since they're due for their shots. While I'm there I'll ask them to check Pim for signs of infection, to see if we can get him to stop peeing everywhere."
CD: "When does His Highness go to the vet?"
Me, without batting an eye: "Next Tuesday."
Maybe I should ask the pediatrician if she can get His Highness to stop peeing everywhere, too?