I encountered a pair of deer while jogging this morning. Being that they didn't speak English, and I didn't dare speak aloud & scare them, this is our conversation as I imagined it--
Deer--"Excuse us please, we're just going to cross the road Oh good there are no cars because we're already halfway into the lane OK, now just up this hill, and, Good we're safe!"
Me, stopped dead in my tracks, about 20 feet away--"Oh, hello. I've never been this close to deer before."
Deer--"Well, here we are. Did you want to stare all day? We have places to be."
Me--"Um, I have a secret fear that sometime when I'm out jogging, some rogue deer is going to jet out of nowhere and pummel me to the ground out of spite. You're not going to do that, are you?"
Deer--"Oh geez...you watch too many stupid car insurance commercials. Relax, OK? You do your thing, we'll do ours."
I'm totally clean & sober, honest...