Nov 18, 2012

It's Like Drinking an Avalanche From a Firehose...

...with a haboob thrown in for good measure.  And maybe a 10K. But not a real one, because I'm not up to 6 miles at a time yet in my running.

This is how my life feels over the past month.  Some snippets--

--My doc gave me antibiotics for my (probably? maybe? possibly?) Lyme Disease.  I took them for a month, and then they were done, and I got very nervous about what would happen next. All my blood work was negative, which sounds good, but with Lyme you just can never be sure with the bloodwork, so I took it with a grain of salt. At my recheck the doc reassured me, saying "You did a month of meds within 6 months of the initial tick bite. You're feeling better.  If anything changes or you get another tick bite, let me know, but for now we assume you're done."  And then over the following days when I got a weird itch or scared thought I repeated that to myself--"You're done, Skerrib."  And I kept up with my jogging, and chasing after my kids, and complaining about the other hard things in my life (most of which aren't that hard, but it does me good to be honest about my feelings in a healthy way, as opposed to stuffing and exploding, which makes no one happy)...and now it is several weeks later and I do believe I'm done.  Still neurotic about tick checks, but feeling good overall and not at all "punky" like I did pre-meds. 

--And then, wouldn't you know it, the Littler One got a tick bite.  I had the high privilege and abject horror of finding the tick and trying to remove it.  It came off in pieces, but I placed them on a cotton ball inside a baggie, and off it traveled with us the next day to see the doc.  She gave the Littler One a once-over and tested the tick, which came up negative for all things dangerous and/or gross.  And negative tick tests are more reliable than negative blood tests, so we are relieved and happy all around, and grateful to know to save the dang tick whenever you can, people.

--My dad's mom died about a month ago now.  She had had Alzheimer's Disease for some time, and things had been very difficult for a year or two, as the family had been dealing with finding the right care facility for her, among other things.  That's all to say it's a big relief now to know she is healed and whole again, and as my uncle put it, reunited with my grandpa after almost 20 years apart.  Tiny E and I traveled to Idaho for the memorial a couple weeks ago and had one of those experiences where you reconnect with family you never get to see, and have such a great time, except for wishing you weren't there for a funeral.  Tiny E and I stayed with my cousin and her family, along with Thomasina, and we had a great time doing mostly ordinary errands and home things.  Thomasina taught us how to make crepes, and my cousin has piles of frozen and canned goods from her garden that she grows herself, so we were all well-fed the entire time.  Plus I was incredibly popular because I had a baby with me, which was actually the case the last time we were in Idaho 3 years ago.  I told one of my aunts that showing up every few years with a baby was a habit I did not intend to maintain (but it was really fun to pass her around and see my family delight in my daughter as much as I do).

--Tiny E managed to roll off the bed in the middle of the night, and acted sore but OK until her shoulder swelled up while we were in ID, so we spent one morning at urgent care getting her x-rayed and determining that she broke her collarbone.  She was sore and favoring her 'bad' side, but everything was otherwise in good position and there was nothing to be done except let it heal.  At her re-check once we got home the doc said everything was looking good, and officially we should wait 4 weeks before manhandling her, but that really she was probably just fine already. So I'm still waiting before I start yanking her arms again, and both the Cat Daddy and I are extra watchful about the bed.

--After a really long and drawn-out process, I decided that I needed to surrender Max and Zoe to our local animal shelter, who can help them find new homes.  There were about 10,000 factors leading to this decision, and even now I get trapped thinking "What if I did such-and-such?" but all things considered it was the best decision for them as well as us.  I'm scatterbrained sometimes, and not always organized, but I've always cared deeply for our animals, and there's always been room in our home for all furry and non-furry family members, and I'm definitely not in the habit of getting rid of creatures, so it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  I cried when I realized it had to be done. I cried in the days leading up to it.  I cried as I dropped them off.  I felt better after talking with the animal shelter staff and filling out the paperwork, and driving away dog-free until life circumstances allow otherwise.  And then I spent the week sadder than I thought I'd be, and overwhelmed still, and really there's no better word than to say I've been grieving.  I'm messy and my perspective is skewed. I've called in some support along the way, which has really helped (thank you Roots). Then today at church I began to feel a little more oriented, so I think I'm working thru it alright. 

--And by the way we've settled on a local church.  It's tiny (to us--under 100 people) and new (only a year old), but thus far the overall feel and personality fits us well.  We've strongarmed our way into the music crowd, and are excited to get involved there.  The Cat Daddy played bass in the service today, so we are off & running.  I would say more, but I still feel very new and don't really have the words yet.  Although today I sent E to the nursery and made it through my first complete sermon in many months, so there's that.

--I got selected to be on a book launch team for Rachel Held Evans's new book, and promptly got bowled over by all of the above, so while I technically fulfilled the requirements of being on the team, I haven't yet done the book report and responses I wanted to post here.  I'm still really hoping to do those soon; maybe even before Christmastime so I can convince you all to give the book a read, because I did like it and I think many people would find it interesting, particularly if you like memoirs, women, Jesus, and/or think God thinks we're funny and maybe even laughs at us sometimes.  Lovingly, of course.

--The Most Interesting Cat in the World has been at it again, and there will be more stories coming, honest. In the meantime he has managed to get himself put on a curfew during school hours, because kitties are not allowed inside the school, and because the staff didn't want spray bottles to help dissuade him from entering the building, even though I offered to provide them. As if they were already busy enough teaching kids and running a school (!). The upside (?) is that the principal knows me now.  I have to say out of all the potential scenarios I had in my head going into this school year, getting a call from the principal about my cat was not included.  But I guess overall it's preferable to most problems.

And hey, at least I don't have tuberculosis...


Anonymous said...

You've been going through a lot. I try to live a "both/and" approach of "Acceptance" (eg, serenity prayer, life is worse elsewhere -> youtube "First World Problems") and "Change" (mindfulness meditation, proactive connecting with others, doing something brand new and fun). Prayer is vital in both of these. Thanks for what you write!

Skerrib said...

Yes--both/and. That's a great way to put it!