May 24, 2012

We Interrupt...

I soooooo want to finish up the birth story, I promise, but in the meantime I need to get a few throughts out of my head.  They're starting to pile up, and my head is getting full, and that's just...crowded.

--Moving time is creeping up on us a day, a week at a time.  Except that time is traveling at crazy speeds these days so while we're moving on July 9, it turns out that July 9 will be here, like, tomorrow.

--I'm a little Ecclesiastical these days.  I don't know if "Ecclesiastical" has a real definition, but what I mean by it is that I'm looking around in my world, seeing a lot of the same old things.  Cycles such as seasons (in the weather/climate sense)...moving (duh)...babies and kids growing and developing (and for some inexplicable reason wearing one boot and one Croc)...hearing people rant about politics, and baby/child care, and reality TV.  All these things are bombarding me, and I'm thinking "Nothing is new under the sun."  Which is both alarming and reassuring.  So I spent a little time in Ecclesiastes one evening, and I was all "Geez Solomon, you need a cookie, man" but at the same time going "It's so sad but he's dead-on."  And I wanted to skip to the end but I made myself stick with his moaning and groaning and I was still thinking "Cut it out, Solomon!" And when I got to the end...well, there aren't really any neat & tidy answers, except for God, who rarely seems to tie up our loose ends on this side of things.  Which is at once alarming and reassuring.  But I think more reassuring.  It helped me a little bit to calm down and wonder less what/if I needed to do differently to feel better.  My life is in a mildly chaotic place right now, but we are healthy and reasonably there's not much to do at this moment except keep doing what I'm doing (and trust that I'm doing plenty), and hang on for the ride.

--I love (LOVE) humor and sarcasm, but at my deepest, soft chewy core I am a Tenderheart.  Sometimes these things seem in competition, but I decided they are just aspects that come out at different times.  These days I'm a little fragile, so I lean toward Tenderheart.  It's not that things aren't funny, it's just that the fragile is a little more at the forefront than the funny. 

--I'm also what one of the major women's magazines calls a Ruminator.  Which basically means I think a lot, to the point that sometimes I need to shut it down a bit and go banter with someone. And maybe more often. But maybe not. 

--I did a great job keeping the house super-neat for, like, almost four weeks.  Then I let down for a bit and felt about 70% more relaxed.  Thereby proving that chores are the cause of so many evils in this world. Now I'm ramping up again til we sell the dang house...evil chores.

--The relationship of moving and relationships--don't even get me started.

These are the things on my mind lately.  Also these things: His Highness is trolling for food, the Littler One is going down the stairs in the pop-up tunnel, and the Wee One (eh, probably not) needs to eat. 

And chores...


Tana said...

Nothing is new under the sun is something that gives this GAD sufferer much calm. Also, being in the now rather than the future or the past - neither of which truly exist.

I can so relate to much of what you have written here. Except for the baby and kids part. But everything else.

linda t said...

Thanks for processing 'out loud' Kerri. You always make me think. And I appreciate that.