Feb 20, 2006

Mrs. Cranky-Pants...

In honor of Presidents' Day, and of working while the Cat-Daddy gets to sleep the day away, a list of some of my pet peeves, grammatical and otherwise...

--Confusing "its" and "it's." Kids, let's get it right: "It's" is a contraction for "it is." "Its" is the possessive. As in: It's perfectly normal for a dog to sniff its own butt.

--Confusing "there," "their," and "they're." Location, possesive, and contraction for "they are." As in: The dogs over there aren't sniffing their own butts, but they're sniffing each other's.

--Mispronunciation of the word "nuclear." Admittedly, Webster's lists "nu-kyoo-lar" as an appropriate pronunciation, but it still bugs me. Phonics people, phonics.

--Going to bed with a dirty kitchen.

--Dogs that eat cat poop--UGH.

--To a lesser degree, confusing "your" and "you're." Probably lesser because I've caught myself on this one multiple times. Possessive vs. the contraction for "you are." As in: Zoe, you're not leaving this house without your coat! And we don't eat cat poop in this house!

--"I" vs. "me." This one doesn't bother me all that much, but I might as well throw it in there. It's whatever you would say by itself. As in: The Cat-Daddy and I say we don't like poop-eating poodles one bit. But between you and me, we think Zoe is quite endearing, despite her disgusting habits.

--And for a touch of irony (hypocrisy?)--it irks me when people feel like they must correct every grammar slip with no regard to the current situation or surroundings. There are times and places to enlighten the grammar-ignorant, and they are few & far between.

By the way, I've decided to decorate my cube wall with quotes, famous and infamous. Here's a list of what's already up:

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone…The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire…It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it…Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted…Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else…Never test the depth of the water with both feet..If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments…Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes…If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you…Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day…If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it…If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything…Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield…Everyone seems normal until you get to know them…The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket…A closed mouth gathers no foot…Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together…There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works...Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving…Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it…Never miss a good chance to shut up…Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

There's still plenty of room, so anyone who wants to contribute, send 'em my way via comments or skerri_bATyahoo.com. Just be sure to include the quoter, if known. Even better if it's one of your own...

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