Skerrib's Guide to Health(ier) Eating...

OK kids, big things going on here at the Skerrib house. Yuuuge things. New Years resolution-type things. Really fantastic.

I've been working with a dietitian for a couple weeks now. I know a good amount about healthy eating, and I've made some gradual changes over the last year, and I have a good sense of our family philosophy on food, but I needed some guidance on implementing things and handling my particular quirks and insatiable need for treats. So it was time, because I've got goals. Really good, amazing goals. Speed goals. Getting-older goals. Skin goals. Pants goals.

Well, it turns out Ellie has all sorts of advice to match people's quirks and issues. Seriously, you could play "Try to Stump Ellie," and I bet she'd have at least a little familiarity with whatever challenge you throw at her. I first heard her on a podcast thru my online running community, so I was fairly prepared for what I'd be getting into. Not that it's easy and automatic; nay, I dare say it's even a little bit of hard work. But I knew it was coming, so it hasn't been too much of a shock to my delicate sensibilities (and no, she hasn't turned me into a raging vegan, Mom).

Based on our first Skype session, I have a daily plan and I'm supposed to be keeping a food journal, but I haven't done that. I mean, I'm following the plan pretty darn closely, but the only things I'm logging are observations and questions to ask at the next appointment. And so far most of the observations are in my head, so I am presenting them here for posterity and the betterment of all humanity--

1) I have cut out gluten, corn, and uncultured dairy for 3 weeks as a trial to sleuth out food sensitivities. This definitely requires a little more pre-planning on snacks and meals, but it's not as tragic as I thought it would be. I don't know what's next in the process, but at least for now it's temporary, and temporary things can be endured.

2) The kids are intrigued and very supportive of my food elimination experiments. The Cat Daddy is nervous--I think he is hearing "This Family Is Going Gluten-Free!" because he keeps concernedly proclaiming "Our Family Is Not Going Gluten Free!!" WE are not going gluten-free...but I am finding some seriously delicious-looking recipes for chocolate tortes (when dairy is back in...when dairy is back in...).

3) Speaking of tortes, the upside of all these food elimination trends is that there are heaps and heaps of recipes and suggestions out there (hello, Pinterest). In overhead-camera-video format, to make you think they take two seconds. But as long as I remember about editing, and real-life cooking time, I can keep it in perspective.

4) 85% dark chocolate tasted like the bitter rants of curmudgeons at first but now, a week or two in, I think it's growing on me.

4b) I need to pay attention to the time of day when I consume 85% dark chocolate, lest it affect my sleep.

5) Every new recipe I've tried has been doable, but has needed at least a little bit of tweaking first.

6) I'm really on the fence about chickpea cookies. I mean, after a couple tries and some tweaks I think I do like them, but never will they ever be passed off as a suitable substitute for classic chocolate chip cookies made with wheat flour.

7) Nettle tea smells like a hay barn. After a week or two, I have found I kind of like drinking a hay barn.

8) Collagen does best dissolved in warm/hot water. Collagen dissolved in cold water makes me think of drinking sheep hooves. It's not even made from sheep hooves--at least I don't think it is--but that's what I think of.

9) Coconut water kefir makes me think of drinking sea monkeys. Sea monkeys in my belly, populating my gut with more good sea monkeys than I have cells in my entire body.

10) I don't even know what to make of ginseng with royal jelly, but the teeny little straw and teeny little bottle are so cute it doesn't bother me.

11) I'm a decent home cook of delicious, whole, nourishing foods. Seriously, I make some killer rice bowls and chopped salads these days. The downside is that it does take time to do this. Not a ridiculous amount of time, mind you. But enough that I notice the investment of effort and time it takes, mostly in the planning and weekend-prep.

12) The goal is that I cook the same stuff for the whole family. The reality is that with some meals I serve MOST of the same stuff to everyone and change up a couple things for myself. But very few of my meals have been something completely different from everyone else's. I can live with this.

13) I might have accused Ellie of sorcery because as I told her, I'm already noticing some improvements. Not ALL the improvements; I mean, it would be dangerous to do all that in a week's time. But enough that I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining things.

14) As with much in life, the difficulty is less about specific foods and more about changing habits and mindset. Except for the vegetables. Ellie swears a boatload of vegetables is key, and snap peas keep me awake in meetings, so I'm on board with that.

15) Gluten-free chocolate mug cake FOR THE WIN.

15b) Chocolate mug cake must also be consumed before 5 pm for sleep reasons.

In conclusion, you cannot make me turn cauliflower into mashed potatoes or pizza crust, but I'm well on my way with the vegetable train and occasional visits to Whole Paycheck.

Now if you will excuse me, it's time for my mug cake and cup of hay barn tea...