I Do What I Want...

There's plenty I don't like about being a grown-up--insurance, anyone??--but there's a whole lot I love about it too.

For starters, I don't miss my junior high years. At all. Now that's not to say there was nothing good about them; there were plenty of good moments strewn about in there amid the angst, and awkwardness, and cringe-worthy moments. But I was relieved to leave them behind and I'd be hard pressed to go back if given the opportunity.

I love being able to drive and having a car. I love choosing whether or not I want to be in school, and what I want to learn about. I love getting to tell small children what to do--and them doing it.

I love it that I'm getting old enough that my quirks aren't seen as an artifact of my youth. There were a few years in there where drumming barefoot drew furrowed brows among certain crowds. Wearing jeans all the time--not wrong exactly, but not necessarily a favorable trait. Sarcasm and slang--definitely something to grow out of. Getting married at age 20--ah, those young whippersnappers. General nerdliness and dorkdom--crazy kids.

Let me throw in a disclaimer that my perception gets skewed at times, and I tend to think people are thinking more negatively about my quirks than they actually are. If they are even thinking about them at all. I realize that. But still, I think we've all had those ridiculous interactions where someone manages to impress upon us that we aren't good/smart/normal/whatever enough, and for some reason we just can't shake loose the effects they have.

But now I'm gaining credibility. I'm 32. I have a house. I have kids. I've grown and matured over the years, and am ready to deal with all sorts of passing remarks in a firm yet polite way, to self-advocate...but I hardly get any guff these days. The barefoot drumming--the only people that even notice are my peeps at the home church, and only then in love and good nature. The jeans--either no one cares anymore, or they figure I'm old enough that it's no longer worth trying to get me to change. Sarcasm and slang--I've learned to choose carefully when and where I use it. Most of the time, anyway. Being young and married--11 years took care of that one. And as for the nerdliness and dorkdom, obviously those are here to stay.

I really love that about being a grown-up...