The Cat Daddy always has the best ideas. He just peeked out from the basement:
CD: "Hey Skerrib, are your b00bies still making milk?" [we only use correct anatomical terminology in our house, thank you]
Me: "Umm, why?"
CD: "Start pumping now!"
Me: "Now?"
CD: "PETA wants Ben & Jerry to start using breastmilk in their ice cream, instead of cows' milk, and you could make some serious money!"
Me: "No way! I could make way more selling breastmilk on the black market than giving it to an ice cream company."
Let me throw in some qualifiers and say that I'm not certain exactly what the black market is, or even that it actually exists. I've just heard rumors that if it did exist, breastmilk would go for a pretty penny.
Apparently some place in Switzerland is going to field test the human milk approach by substituting 75% human milk in its ice cream and other items. The reasoning is along the lines of significantly reducing the mistreatment of dairy cows and their young, as well as sparing people from the dangers of dairy products. Because Dr. Spock said so.
My favorite, though, was Ben & Jerry's response:
"We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child."
I find that very disturbing. I love Ben and Jerry's Icecream and I hope they NEVER make the switch...I don't want to drink other people's "boobie" milk...I don't even want to drink my own!
ReplyDeleteOh, the evil flavor possibilities...
ReplyDeleteFudge Almond Nipple
Spuboobie
Boobie Dough
Chocolactate
The richest, creamiest ice creams could advertise "Now with more hind milk!"
Of course, PETA would worry about the cows and their young but what about the human moms? I don't think I'd like to line up twice a day to have my nipples swabbed with disinfectant then stand there hooked to the pump. Of course, maybe if they were feeding me chocolate at the time...
As a currently lactating mother, I'm still grossed out.
ReplyDeleteWhat about all the poor single guys who can't stand to have their food touch my mommy milk in the fridge at work? How are they going to eat ice cream made with it?
"Chocolactate"
ReplyDelete*LOL*
Some people (ummm. . . PETA!) are just waaaaay out where the cows don't roam. . .
Ok - I do happen to know about the breast milk black market ( thank you NICU nightmare) and the stuff goes for several bucks an ounce- figure 10 oz a feeding/pumping and about 6 a day - that's almost $500/day. While I'm not sure I'd stand in line to be milked, I'd think the big ice cream companies could make it worth our while?
ReplyDeleteStill the grossest alternative anything even PETA has dreamed up